Tailgate

Ahh, it's Thursday night and I'm ready for some sausage and some bee, er, I mean, sodas. We're taking a long weekend just to really enjoy our tailgate. I hope you do the same, but if you're at the office on Friday, we only hope that we can make your day a little brighter.

We're getting dangerously close to having to pick basketball games too during these posts you all look forward to each week. But, there isn't enough to talk about at the moment - I'm thinking UNC should be able to handle UPenn without much trouble at home Saturday - so we'll stick to football.

Let's make some picks.

#1 Alabama vs. Mississippi State

The Bulldogs have beaten Alabama the last two years. One difference - Alabama doesn't suck this year. Roll Tide.

#3 Texas @ Kansas

First off, I believe I wrote earlier this week that Texas Tech - Oklahoma was this weekend, but it's apparently not. My bad. I'm tempted to think that this might be a closer game than many people think, but apparently Kansas was a one-year wonder last season. Texas wins this one without much difficulty.

#4 Florida vs. #25 South Carolina

I'm itching to pick an upset, but South Carolina's offense sucks. The defense is good, and I certainly think South Carolina will cover the three touchdown spread. But, they won't win the game as much as I know Spurrier wants to.

#6 USC @ Stanford

The Trojans lost last year as 41-point favorites over Stanford. The Cardinal is better this year than last, so there won't be a six touchdown spread, but they also won't win the game. Southern Cal is doing everything they can to get back into the BCS discussion, but unless there are some major upsets ahead of them, it won't happen. But that USC defense is lethal.

#7 Utah @ San Diego St

Is Utah really ranked 7th? That's absurd. I think they are good, but come on. I'd pick the upset but San Diego State is awful. Like, if there was relegation in college football, they might have to be in App State's conference next season. And they'd still finish last.

#8 Penn State vs. Indiana

Penn State is either going to beat the snot out of Indiana to make up for losing last week or they are going into the tank. I'm going to go ahead and say that Joe Pa would never let them tank. Of course, Joe Pa can't control his own bowel movements so I'm not sure he has much control over his football team. PSU wins because I made a rather obvious and lame joke about poop.

#9 Boise State @ Idaho

Boise and Utah are both in the top 10? That's it - I'm putting my foot down. Idaho wins. You don't just walk into Idaho and walk all over the Vandals. Sure, they have the worst defense in the WAC, but they've been waiting for this game.

#10 Georgia @ Auburn

Auburn sucks. I write a weekly column about Auburn for RealFootball365.com and have followed them all year. I've also received emails from distraught Auburn fans that may or may not be esteemed members of their local community. They want Tuberville out. I'm a little baffled because he's done a great job but if they lose this one and next week against Alabama, Auburn will finish with a losing record. And Tuberville will be gone. Sadly for Tommy, I can't pick the upset because Auburn stinks. They'll keep it close, but Georgia's just a lot better.

#11 Ohio State @ Illinois

The Illini have to be considered a pretty big disappointment this year - of course so do the Buckeyes based on their expectations. So, yeah, whoever loses can just add to their terrible year. It's always nice to bring such good tidings to my loyal readers. Illini are on suicide watch after they lose this one.

#12 Mizzou @ Iowa State

Mizzou. Yawn.

#13 Oklahoma State @ Colorado

OSU kind of corked that one last Saturday, eh? I guess Mike Gundy may not be as high on many people's list for coaching jobs anymore. He'll be even lower after they lose in Boulder this weekend.

#16 UNC @ Maryland

Much has been made of Maryland's Jekyll and Hyde season but it's pretty clear that they play great at home and suck on the road. Unfortunately for UNC, this game is in College Park. If Miami can maintain its lead over Virginia Tech (currently 13-7 with 2 minutes left in third quarter), then the Heels would control their own destiny in the ACC Coastal Division.

I really don't know what to expect out of this game. Maryland has a porous run defense so UNC needs to really establish Shaun Draughn and Ryan Houston. If the defense can continue to force turnovers, the Heels should be in good shape. In the 7 wins, we've had a positive turnover margin. If the 2 losses, we've had a negative turnover ratio. You do the math.

#17 BYU @ Air Force

Air Force with the upset. I've made this joke before and I'm sure I'll make it again, but jets with missiles or a group of polygamists that don't drink? Who you got?

#19 FSU vs. Boston College

The Seminoles are in the thick of the race for the ACC Atlantic crown, but they have to win out. They also need to Wake Forest to lose, but you can only control what you do. FSU been's playing better and better each week as its youth gets more comfortable (a common theme in the ACC). I'm taking the Seminoles at home.

#20 LSU vs. Troy

This game was supposed to be played a couple months ago, but some hurricanes had other ideas. So, now LSU gets a little breather from the rigors of the SEC schedule. It was a tough Saturday last week for LSU so expect the Tigers to not give the best effort but it'll be enough to pull out a closer than expected win.

#22 Cincy @ Louisville

For all the talk about how no one can figure out the ACC race, the BIg East is just as big of a mess as any conference. Cincy right now leads, I think, but if raise your hand if you want to see the Bearcats playing in the Orange Bowl or Sugar Bowl? Unless you're the prospective opponent you don't. So, as a favor to America, Louisville will beat Cincy Friday night.

#23 Tulsa @ Houston

The Cougars football team will make up for the basketball team's embarrassing showing against Georgia Southern earlier this week by beating the Golden Hurricane. And yes, I considered about three or four different jokes about a golden shower before taking the high road. I've matured. I know.

#24 Wake Forest @ NC State

I've read somewhere that State's players are trying to win the "state" championship by beating Duke, Wake and UNC. I guess when your season is over with a month left, you look for moral victories. They already have a win over Duke - that's why you brought in O'Brien, right? - but won't get the second one over Wake. Riley Skinner has returned to form and the Wake offense is starting to move the ball better than they have all season.

NFL

Denver @ Atlanta

Who would have thought the Falcons would be 6-3 at this point and favored. The Broncos defense is, uh, putrid. That seems like a fair evaluation, if not a slight overrating. Falcons win to keep pace in the competitive NFC South.

Bears @ Packers

Big, classic rivalry game that seems to be missing something without Favre around. After all, the Bears are relieved Kyle Orton is back. So, yeah, the rivarly isn't quite what it used to be, but this is still an important game in the NFC North. I'll take the Packers at home because I refuse to trust Kyle Orton under any circumstance unless it's a partner for a jack and coke swigging contest.

Ravens @ Giants

The Giants will win this one, but the Ravens will keep it closer than a lot of people think. Flacco's for real, despite being a Blue Hen and the Ravens defense is always stout. I could really use maybe a defensive td or two from the Ravens as well in a feeble attempt to salvage my disgraceful fantasy football team. Don't worry, I'm starting Tyler Thigpen this week.

Vikings @ Bucs

Peterson runs wild and Jeff Garcia won't be able to respond. Honestly, I'm probably more bored of this right now than you are. Let's move on.

Skins vs. Cowboys

Two days ago, I was feeling really good about this game. Now, with Portis probably out, I'm extremely nervous. I'm not exactly thrilled about putting our running game in Shaun Alexander's hands. Three years ago, that would have sounded like blasphemy, but I'd rather have Cedric Benson driving my boat than Alexander starting at running back for the Skins.

Anyway, that's all I got for tonight. Need to get my beauty rest. Hope you enjoyed the picks as we are here at the Hangover aim to please. We're nothing without our legions of readers. Wait - what's that? We have no readers and we're just another blog in the bottomless pit that is the internet. Well, damn. Bartender!

And GO HEELS! (special thanks to the Hurricanes for knocking off the Hokies tonight)