Bowl Pick Off

I did this last year to rave reviews, so I figured let's do it again. Bowl games start Thursday night, so I'm going to go through each bowl game and make a pick. Rest assured, I know nothing about 75% of these teams so it should be interesting. Keep in mind, 64 teams make bowls, which is well over half of the total number of teams in 1-A football. Tulsa and Bowling Green are playing in a bowl on January 6th, 2008. But yeah, there's no way we have enough time to fit in a playoff.


Anyway, this post is going to be long, so let's get started.


San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl


Utah vs. Navy - Navy's coach, Paul Johnson, has agreed to take the job at Georgia Tech, so he's either coaching this game while recruiting for Tech (probably a bad thing) or there's an interim coach at the helm for Navy (definitely a bad thing). Regardless, Utah does two things - be Mormon and win bowl games. Utah wins this game, but the real winner is the San Diego County Credit Union, who is sure to rake in the new accounts after no one in San Diego County watches this game.


R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl


Florida Atlantic vs. Memphis - There is nothing like rewarding two teams for 7-5 records out of the Sun Belt and Conference USA. This is also the first of three bowl games to be played in New Orleans, which certainly won't lead to any problems whatsoever. And if anyone can tell me what R+L Carriers is, I'll give you one free post on this here blog where you can write whatever you want. Memphis wins.


PapaJohns.com Bowl


Southern Miss vs. Cincinnati - Southern Miss had a coach who took them to bowl games every year, never had recruiting violations and rarely did you hear about his players getting into trouble. So, they fired him. Apparently they were hoping to cheat their way to bowl games every year with a team full of criminals. Like Cincinnati. (Please note that the only thing I know about the Bearcats is Bob Huggins. And yes, I realize he's a basketball coach and no longer at Cincy.) Cincy wins.


New Mexico Bowl


Nevada vs. New Mexico - So, let me get this straight? If New Mexico is bowl eligible, they get to play in the New Mexico bowl? Seriously? No one finds this alarming? And bowls like this are the reason college presidents want to keep the bowl system instead of a playoff? That makes sense. Well, I'm no idiot, I'm picking New Mexico.


Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl


BYU vs. UCLA - This is a rematch of a regular season game. A regular season game which I'm confident no one watched. I'm just glad the country has been rewarded with a second chance. After all, this is America. UCLA won the first one, and since then has lost 44-6 to mighty Utah, 20-6 to even mightier Notre Dame and then lost 4 of their last 5 in the Pac 10. Oh, and they've fired their coach. So, I'm taking BYU in the rematch.


Sheraton Hawaii Bowl


Boise State vs. East Carolina - Boise is just thrilled to be away from that damn blue field and the miserable weather of Boise, Idaho. I'm not sure they realized the sun was allowed to come out in December. Of course, the Pirates will be equally thrilled to get the hell out of Greenville, NC, so both teams will be walking around with smiles regardless of the result. ECU beat UNC, so they must be good - I'm taking the Pirates in the upset. A bit of a drop-off from the Fiesta Bowl, eh Broncos?


Motor City Bowl


Purdue vs. Central Michigan - Congratulations on your great season! As a reward, you get to spend Christmas in Detroit! While I don't think West Lafayette, Ind or wherever the hell Central Michigan is are any better than Detroit, I can't imagine anyone's excited about this game. The Chippewas will be downing 4 boilermakers apiece after their win. Well, if that's C-Bass over there...


Pacific Life Holiday Bowl


Arizona State vs. Texas - The first bowl game of the year that'll actually be worth watching. Good to see Texas back in action at the Holiday Bowl. Everyone's missed you. With Texas here, you can guarantee another high-scoring, exciting affair that have lacked during the span Mack Brown lucked into having one of the great college QBs of all time. Now, Mack's back where he belongs. Arizona State wins this game, though.


Champs Sports Bowl


Boston College vs. Michigan St - The Eagles get screwed after losing the ACC title game and ending up relegated to the Champs Sports Bowl while a Clemson team they beat (at Clemson) plays in the Peach Bowl. I think the Eagles will use that as motivation, plus they are just better than Michigan State. Eagles win.


Texas Bowl


TCU vs. Houston - I guess the Texas Bowl knows its constituency. If you've got a miserable bowl game, why not get two teams from the local area who are just happy to be in any bowl and hold the game in the hometown of one of the schools? And is the state of Texas sponsoring this bowl? I'm so confused, but I'm taking TCU.


Emerald Bowl


Maryland vs. Oregon State - Maryland is 6-6. They lost to UNC. Their coach is fat and is going to be pissed at all the vegetarian meals forced down his throat in San Francisco. It's not going to be pretty. Beavers win.


Meineke Car Care Bowl


UConn vs. Wake Forest - It wouldn't be a bowl season without the Hangover attending one of the games. Since this one takes place 5 minutes from my house and my roommate dates Wake's QB's sister, I figure this is as good a bowl to attend as any. Rest assured, my good friend Jim Beam will be attending with me, even if I have to stuff him down my socks to get him into the game. Considering Wake's coach turned down Arkansas to stay in Winston, he better win this game. All 400 Wake fans will ensure home field advantage and the Deacons will get the win.


Autozone Liberty Bowl


Central Florida vs. Mississippi State - I do know that UCF has a running back who has a chance next season to set the all-time NCAA rushing record. I don't care where you play, that's pretty damn impressive. MSU probably never expected to be here, so I think UCF gets the win. I mean, really, who watches these games aside from hopeless gamblers?


Valero Alamo Bowl


Penn State vs. Texas A&M - Penn State's coach is old and senile while A&M's coach was fired for being a) a bad coach and b) a dirtbag. I mean, really, the $2 mill you're getting paid isn't enough? You need to swindle your boosters out of a few extra grand each yeat? Maybe focus on not sucking instead of your email newsletter, Franchione. Anyway, I'm taking Penn State because at least their old, senile coach is the same one that's been coaching them all season. Let's just hope he doesn't get diarrhea again in the middle of the game.


PetroSun Independence Bowl


Alabama vs. Colorado - Maybe if these gas companies stopped sponsoring pathetic bowls, they could actually provide gasoline at a reasonable price. The loser of this game will finish with a losing record. The winner of this game will finish 7-6. The Alabama coach compared a loss earlier this year to the September 11th attacks and the Holocaust. Colorado lost to Iowa State. I'm pretty sure the Taliban could beat Iowa State in football. Alabama wins.


Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl


Cal vs. Air Force - In October, Cal was #2 in the country, having beaten Oregon (with Dennis Dixon) in Autzen. Now, it is 6-6 and arguably the most disappointing team in the country. It's hard to think they'll be motivated to take on Air Force. Plus, Air Force is an Armed Force and flies helicopters, so they've got the clear advantage in this one.


Roady's Humanitarian Bowl


Georgia Tech vs. Fresno St - I know of two things that are called "roady's." One is a beer and the other is entirely inappropriate for a family website. I have no idea which one is sponsoring this bowl, but both are universally loved by college students. You know what's not loved by college students? Spending New Year's Eve in Boise, Idaho. Fresno State wins because they've actually got a chance to get out of Boise in time to celebrate that evening.


Sun Bowl


South Florida vs. Oregon - This game features two teams that at one point this season I was driving the respective bandwagons. Oregon would be playing for the national title if Dixon doesn't tear his ACL. South Florida was always just kind of mediocre, but it was fun to see a new team at the top. Oregon still stinks without Dixon, so I'm taking South Florida, despite how despicable QB Matt Grothe and his mohawk are.


Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl


Kentucky vs. Florida St - Wait, wait, wait. Your name is Gaylord Focker? Florida State will be missing at least 20 players because they were all caught cheating on an internet exam. I don't know what I find more surprising - that FSU professors didn't think students would cheat on an internet exam or that Bowden is letting his players get in trouble for cheating. I mean, look at the cast of brain trusts that have gotten through the FSU program. You mean to tell me Peter Warrick never cheated? Sebastian Janikowski? Chris Rix? Ok, bad example there. You have to wake up for your exams to cheat. Anyway, Kentucky is going to win this game.


Insight Bowl

Indiana vs. Oklahoma St - You want some Insight? Indiana is playing for the memory of a beloved coach who passed away earlier this year. Oklahoma State is playing for an idiot. Indiana wins. How's that for Insight?

Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl

Clemson vs. Auburn - If there is one thing we know from the Tommy Bowden era at Clemson, it's that Clemson chokes in just about every big game. This season Clemson played Virginia Tech and Boston College (the two best teams in the league) at home. And lost both games. They're make it a trifecta by losing this game to Auburn. There's going to be a lot of orange in the Georgia Dome though.

Outback Bowl

Tennessee vs. Wisconsin - A semi-preview of the title game in that it's SEC vs. Big 10. In recent years, the Vols have laid rather large eggs in bowl games, while Wisconsin seems to win most of its bowl games. I think Tennessee is a little more motivated this year, trying to prove that they really deserved to be in the SEC title game after hearing that Georgia was really the best team in the SEC East for the past month. If I recall correctly, UT dismantled UGA 35-14. And they're going to beat Wisconsin, too.

Cotton Bowl

Missouri vs. Arkansas - Missouri got screwed out of a BCS game (two teams they beat are in BCS games), and typically when that happens there are two extremes. Either they blow off the bowl game and get housed or they come out with something to prove and beat the crap out of their opponent. Considering Arkansas is in a rather dramatic coaching transition, I'm thinking there will be a fair amount of distractions for the Hogs. At this point, McFadden's probably playing not to get hurt to ensure his draft position. I think Mizzou wins this one pretty big.

Capital One Bowl

Michigan vs. Florida - Another Big 10-SEC matchup and this is probably the most lopsided of them all. I'd love to pick Michigan who will be trying to send Lloyd Carr out a winner in his final game. The problem is that Florida is the definition of a team that Carr's Michigan's team couldn't ever beat. The only hope Michigan has is that Tebow is pulling a Troy Smith and spending the month between receiving his Heisman and the bowl game in strip clubs. Considering the looks of Tebow's girlfriend, I imagine she's keeping him occupied.

Konica Minolta Gator Bowl

UVA vs. Texas Tech - Good thing this bowl is sponsored by a camera company because UVA fans will want to take a lot of pictures. This could be the last time UVA plays in a New Year's Day bowl for a long time. I'll give UVA credit though. They took advantage of a weaker ACC schedule (no BC, Clemson, FSU) and parlayed into a solid record. The best win they had was against Wake Forest. Texas Tech beat Oklahoma. I'm taking the Red Raiders. (you're welcome preston. not that I've picked against UVA, they are sure to win.)

The Rose Bowl Game presented by Citi

Illinois vs. USC - The Rose Bowl preserved its history by bringing in Illinois, which is nice. The only problem is that they screwed over several teams and fans nationwide. Sure, USC vs. Georgia would have been fun. Sure, Missouri deserved to play instead of a team it beat and has fewer losses than. But, hey, Illinois did beat Ohio State, something no one else has done this year. Unfortunately for everyone by Southern Cal, this won't be much of a game. Trojans win.

Allstate Sugar Bowl

Hawaii vs. Georgia - For the past month, everyone's been telling Georgia how good they are. Everyone else has been telling Hawaii they don't belong here and run a gimmicky offense that couldn't really compete against the big boys. I guess that's why we play the games. Maybe I'm crazy, but I think Hawaii ropes Georgia into a shootout and I think Hawaii wins. Colt Brennan is better than Matt Stafford.

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl

Oklahoma vs. West Virginia - If Rodriguez was still coaching WVU, I'd take the Mountaineers. Unfortunately, he's not and Oklahoma will be playing to reverse the nightmare of last year's Fiesta Bowl. Sooners win.

FedEx Orange Bowl

Kansas vs. Virginia Tech - I can't believe Kansas is in a BCS game. The real loser here is Virginia Tech, who was playing as well as anyone late in the season. If they win, big deal you beat Kansas who didn't belong anyway. If you lose, you're a joke, the ACC's a joke and everyone's going to laugh at you. The good news for Tech is that Beamer is a good coach, regardless of whether or not he cares one ounce about the character of his players. So, they'll be ready to go and should handle the Jayhawks pretty easily. After all, this isn't basketball.

International Bowl

Ball State vs. Rutgers - Nothing will get the Canadian fans more excited than this prime time matchup. I'm not sure we'll have a bigger clash of personalities than the local Canucks and the Rutgers fans. That is, of course, if any Rutgers fans are allowed across the border. Sending Jersey folks into Canada might cause some sort of border war, which no one wants. I'm picking Ball State because the Scarlet Knights have to be disappointed to be playing here after last year's magical season.

GMAC Bowl

Tulsa vs. Bowling Green - This game will be played opposite the first weekend of the NFL playoffs. Now THAT's how you bring in ratings. Find a school from Oklahoma and another from Ohio and have them play at the same time as an NFL Wild Card Game. Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one? I'll take Tulsa because they'll suffer less culture shock going into Mobile, Alabama.

Allstate BCS National Championship Game

LSU vs. Ohio State - When you have over 50 days between games, you need a really good coach to get you prepared. I assumed Tressell would have Ohio State ready to go last year, but he didn't. The all-star lineup got fat and happy and were embarrassed by Florida. This year, I don't think Ohio State will have the same problem. According to what I read, the Buckeyes are staying in shape by doing conditioning drills equal to what they do in preseason. They call these drills, "LSU Tiger Drills." They aren't showing up in New Orleans until the last possible moment to minimize, uhh, distractions. And they have a full year of people telling them they can't handle SEC speed.

LSU, on the other hand, is more talented up and down it's roster. They've got a core of players who returned this season for the sole purpose of playing in this game. And they finished the season as champions of the conference with the most quality teams in it. So, by all rights, they should be favored. Here's why I'm hesitant. Les Miles.

Miles is a gambler. He likes to go for the big play. It makes LSU games very exciting. There's only one problem. Jim Tressell. He's a far superior coach and will try to tempt Miles into taking those risks. Last year, Tressell couldn't get Florida to bite and the Gators nickel and dimed their way down the field all night to the tune of 41-14. Unfortunately for LSU, Miles isn't quite as clever as Urban Meyer. There's a reason Ohio State fans were begging Miles to come to Michigan.

This should be a great game. It'll be a close, defensive war. Ohio State and its top-ranked defense won't allow LSU to turn this game into a track meet. Instead, it's going to be an all-out brawl. And in a brawl, I'm going with Tressell, Laurinaitis (no way I spelled that right) and Beanie Wells. Buckeyes win.

Well there you go. Place your bets. If you've got half a brain, you'll bet against me. If I remember (unlikely), I'll recap and see how I did on my picks sometime in January. In the meantime, enjoy the games. Gambling and booze might be the only way to do so for about 25 of the 32 bowl games. But what a great way to crown a champion. I know at the end of this, no one will be dissatisfied and that's what's really important. Producing an undisputed champion.