Let the Incest Resume

Duke University is one of the preeminent basketball programs in the entire country. Its coach will almost assuredly set the NCAA record for career wins, unless his health (you know, that pesky back...) prevents him. So, it would stand to reason that he has one of the top staffs in the country to support him.

Once upon time, this may have been true. Now, he's become enamored with former players who know the Duke system (jack up threes, foul like crazy on defense, receive undeserved accolades). So, when Johnny Dawkins left to take the head coaching job at Stanford, two questions were asked.

First, will Dawkins fail as comically as his predecessors who played at Duke, then were assistants and got head coaching jobs elsewhere? Quin Snyder was one of the hottest names in coaching, got the Missouri job, paid a bunch of juco guys, fixed some grades and now is apparently coaching in the NBDL somewhere. Tommy Amaker had a great start to his head coaching career at Seton Hall, even earning the head job at Michigan. After never making the NCAA tournament at the school Rumeal Robinson built, he was canned and ended up at Harvard where he's apparently been paying recruits. (I suppose all those statements probably deserver the "allegedly" tag, but whatever). The general consensus among the media is that he will do well, but I mean, didn't they say the same thing about Snyder and Amaker?

The second question Dawkins' departure raised was, "Who will take his place on the bench?" UNC fans sent around all sorts of joke candidates - Taymon Domzalski, Matt Christensen, Lee Melchionni, Ricky Price, JJ Redick, Greg Paulus (player-coach - after all, he's like a coach on the floor, right Dickie V?), etc. The list goes on and on. Well, sadly, none of these names were chosen. The good news was that Krzyzewski did even better. He hired Nate James. Nate Freakin' James.

A brief internet search reveals that after James spent 5 years at Duke, he played professionally in the US and overseas from 2002-2007. According to Duke's website, "After being named the Carolinas Basketball League Most Valuable Player in 2003, James spent various parts of the next five seasons playing in the Bosnia, Brazil, France, Germany, Greece, Holland, Hungary, Italy, Japan, Philippines, Poland and Russia." If that's not a resume a recruit wants to hear about, I don't know what is. I mean, Poland? Hungary? Bosnia??? That's what every high school star dreams of. He also spent the last year as the assistant strength and conditioning coach, and you could really see the improvement in Jon Scheyer's physique from his freshman to sophomore years.

Of course, James' hiring is old news. This post was inspired by the news brief I saw today on SI.com, announcing that Krzyzewski has hired a new director of basketball operations. Now, if you can tell me what a director of basketball operations does, you win a prize. Because I've got no clue. But it certainly sounds important. So important, in fact, the Krzyzewski conducted a national search* and ended up hiring his son-in-law.

*possibly inaccurate information

If this guy married into that family, he's got far bigger issues than being woefully unprepared for this job. Of course, he was the head team manager last season. But, on a bigger scale, can you imagine working for one of your in-laws. And what if that in-law was one of the most egotistical and condescending people in his entire profession? I was going to refer to Krzyzewski as the Preening Prick from Poland, but I thought reusing nicknames in successive posts was a little much. (if that doesn't make sense, scroll down and see what I called Cristiano Ronaldo)

But, our hero has decided to take on this mighty role, which we can only imagine includes getting Krzyzewski coffee in the morning, putting the envelopes of cash in the officials locker rooms before the games and putting Greg Paulus' black eye makeup on before each game.

At a loss for an explanation as to why Krzyzewski would treat his staff this way, I contacted the venerable Dr. G for his opinion. His response? "Don't really know what to say, other than the similarities between Krzyzewski and Steinbrenner are frightening."

Considering the Yankees are in the last place at the latest point in the season since 1975, if I were a Duke fan, aside from being unattractive and socially inept, I'd be worried about the state of my basketball program.

Go on you Red Devils

Like I said Monday night, the posts will be random timing-wise but they'll be here. So, don't tell anyone, but I'm sitting somewhere that I probably shouldn't be spending time posting on here, but considering the person beside me just spent a half-hour on the phone shopping for sunglasses (here's a hint, lady, just go to the damn store), I think I'll be ok.

The Champions League final is today in Moscow between Chelsea and Manchester United. It's the first time that two English teams have met for the European Club Championship, and one would think Man U has the decided advantage. It is a better squad, as shown by its Premiership title. Of course, the give Man U the advantage in this match up is overlooking one critical individual whose foot won't even touch a ball during the game. That person is Roman Abramovich.

For the unaware, Abramovich is the owner of Chelsea, as well as a Russian Oil Magnate. He's a billionaire and well, let's just say that not all of his dealings may necessarily have been above the table. He has close relationships with many high-ranking political officers in Russia and if I may speak candidly, he's probably the head of the Russian Mafia. I don't really know these things, just what I've read or speculated, but the fact this match is being played in Moscow certainly raises an eyebrow or two.

If Cristiano Ronaldo (The Preening Prick from Portugal) is taking down in the box to no whistle, don't be surprised. If Rooney's sent off for stomping on Carvahlo's balls (again), consider yourself warned. If all of Man U's starting 11 comes down with food poisoning after lunch, pretend like it's a mere coincidence. Man U, if it makes it to the stadium in one, non-vomiting piece, will be playing 11 v. 14 today.

So, you know, the smart money is on the Blues to salvage their season with a victory.

I didn't mention Jon Lester's no-hitter Monday because I forgot. It concluded right about the time I was wrapping up that piece of Pulitizer-worthy journalism, and meant to write about it, but was distracted by reruns of The Office on TBS. Oh well. But, its a remarkable achievement, made even more impressive by the fact he beat cancer only a year ago. So, a tip of the ole cap to Mr. Lester, who's now getting payback for years of people making the joke, "hey, is your real first name Moe?"

The Stanley Cup Finals start this weekend. I still couldn't tell you where the VS. channel is located on my TV, but I figured we have three days to figure it out. I would hope (for the NHL's sake) that someone, maybe NBC (?), is broadcasting the Finals since it will feature about as quality of a matchup (ratings-wise) as possible. The Detroit Red Wings with all their history and nostalgia and Russians take on the Pittsburgh Penguins featuring Sidney Crosby, the best thing in hockey since Wayne Gretzky. I couldn't name more than three total players in this series (Does Steve Yzerman still play? How about Sergei Federov? Pavel Bure? They were dominant on NHL 98. Yikes - that's a decade old. Maybe time for a new hockey game...). But, if there were two teams out there that could pique the interest of the American viewing public, it would be these two. At least we're spared the atrocity of some team playing ice hockey in the Finals while it's Sunny and 85 degrees outside the arena. I still hold that all teams in the Southeast should be contracted. It's a good thing the NHL doesn't have a viable TV deal, because if I had to watch another playoff matchup between a team from Tampa Bay, FL and Southern California, I'd turn into the bad guy in that awful Jean-Claude Van Damme movie that takes place in a hockey arena.

And yes, this is the most I've written about hockey since that random Spring when I decided to become a diehard Oilers fan for the playoffs. I was going through a weird time in my life. Leave me alone.

Anyway, I should probably go. People are starting to wonder why I'm typing so much when I usually just sit here and try to cover up farts.

We're Back

Ok, after a solid if hazy weekend in Chapel Hill, we learned that apparently a few of you are still out there reading, so my mid-spring resolution is to be a better blogger. Whether that means improving the quality or the quantity of posts is still up in the air, but we'll see what happens. I do need things to write about because let's be honest, the summer isn't exactly the greatest time of year for sports. So, I might just use the space to provide my insights on random crap that may or may not be sports related. Also, with some other priorities taking up evenings, the times I post might vary from the standard time. That's also just to keep you kids guessing and coming to the site. We're hoping to break the 25-hit barrier over the next month. It's a lofty goal to be sure, but hey, we're dreamers.

Anyway, over the weekend, there was some sports action over the weekend and some impressive performances.

First, I'm going to discuss an unimpressive performance that I'm witnessing right now. It's too difficult to explain everything that happened, but the moral of the story is that Reggie Miller is an idiot.

I'm also watching American Gladiators, "live" from Gladiator Arena, which is located on Gladiator Planet and only the Gladiators really know where it is. You get drugged and taken there as a contestant.


This week, we have four cops competing...The crowd's on their feet, these cops are bringing the heat!! (and no, I didn't come up with that. The Hulkster did).


The most impressive performance of the weekend, with apologies to Lebron and Paul Pierce, was submitted by Big Brown. And no, that's not some sort of sexual joke. That's just a big horse (seriously, no innuendo what so ever)that stampeded his competition at the Preakness and really didn't seem like he tried but just exploded on the back stretch.


Now, we get three weeks of hype before the Belmont as it appears we're going to have our first Triple Crown winner in 30 years. I'm just pleased that Icabad Crane finished in the money.


In the NBA, the Celtics survived Game 7 despite 45 points from Lebron, but at least Paul Pierce put up 41. For all the money Garnett makes, shouldn't he be the one putting up 40 points in the Game Sevens? But, I digress. The Celtics now go to take on the Pistons in the conference finals and smart money says they're going to need to win a road game eventually. I realize that the Celtics have home court advantage, but I think the Pistons are going to win a game in Boston.


The Spurs just finished off the Hornets, ending a brilliant playoff run and season by Chris Paul. Of course, had you only watched the fourth quarter, you would have thought that Jannero Pargo was the star of the team instead of Paul. And not because Pargo was spectacular, but because he took every shot that entered his mind. The Hornets did make a run to get it close late, partially due to Pargo making a couple shots, but when you're the only one taking them, that's a problem. David West wasn't a factor - I'm not sure anyone passed him the ball the entire quarter. Peja wasn't a factor other than jacking up a 27-footer and missing badly. Paul had some nice plays, but the Spurs did a good job of getting the ball out of his hands.

Essentially, the Spurs said, 'Hey Jannero, we're begging you to shoot every time you touch the ball." Fortunately for San Antonio, Pargo was fully willing to cooperate.

So now, we have the Spurs and Lakers on one side with the Celtics and Pistons on the other. Both series should be good. You know the powers that be want to see Lakers-Celtics and will do anything, including hiring referees who are gambling on the games they officiate, to avoid another Spurs-Pistons rematch.

Here's my problem with that thinking. I think I'd actually enjoy Pistons-Spurs. I love the way both teams play since they play with some sort of responsibility and respect for all aspects of the game. Both teams have been in these spots and know what to do to get the job done. I'm not crazy about some of the Spurs antics - I mean, at some point, you have to commit a foul - but I like the fact they play defense. I like the fact they are never rattled. I like the fact they force other teams to play their style.

So, while the advertising execs and casual basketball fans would much, much, much rather see the Lakers and Celtics, I'm rooting for the ugly kids on the playground who just know how to win.

Anyway, that's about it for tonight - just getting our feet wet this week. Oh - there is one other thing, we have a new link on the right side of the site. Occasional Hangover contributor Preston has been recruited to write occasional spots for a fellow blog, and asked for some publicity on the site. The site is called The Sports Dungeon and has some good stuff. I don't really know who the people are who are in charge of the site, or why they came up with the somewhat terrifying and creepy Dungeon theme (hey, at least they have a theme that doesn't center around shirking responsibilities at work due to midweek benders - not that I do that. Anymore.). I do know that they better increase the bandwith in the Dungeon because of all the traffic this mention will surely send their way.

So, check out the site - I hope the link works, let me know if it doesn't - and get ready for a rested and refreshed Hangover in the weeks to come. Of course, this might just be a big tease and I'm going to leave you sitting alone eating a burrito at 3:00am, eh "3 Commas"?

Weekly Notebook

Well, I started off strong last week, but fell apart late in the week. But, at least I put something up. And it's bound to be better than my contribution this week since, realistically, this is the only night all week I'm going to post. So, I'll try to make it good. "Try" being the operative word.

ESPN reported over the weekend that OJ Mayo allegedly received improper benefits before attending USC and while he was there. In other college basketball news, Bob Huggins' players didn't graduate, Kelvin Sampson likes using his cell phone and Dave Bliss is looking for a job.

In light of this news and the bevy of one and done players in college basketball this year, many college basketball writers are talking about how the NBA age limit is bad for college basketball and the academic institutions involved. Let's be honest though, the schools affected by this really don't care. I mean, USC got more national attention than ever. UCLA got to a Final Four and probably wouldn't have without Kevin Love. Memphis wouldn't have been able to choke away the national championship without Derrick Rose. Kansas State would continue to be irrelevant without Michael Beasley.

So, while no one thinks these kids came to these schools for their academic reputation, I don't think any of the schools would have turned down the financial windfall they created. Jay Bilas today suggested that maybe the NCAA should change the definition of "amateur" since I'm guessing that many of these players probably aren't actually amateurs. I don't think that's the answer. I think that's playing into these agents and runners hands.

I also don't think the age limit is going to change because the NBA made the rule and it benefits them. So, the rule isn't going anywhere. I think its up to the coaches and schools to make a judgement as to whether these athletes are worth the potential trouble. USC is probably going to face some sort of penalty, but nothing severe. Does that dissuade them from pursuing the next "OJ Mayo?" Probably not. I think some of the bigger schools - like a UNC, Duke, Kansas, Kentucky (maybe) - will avoid these players, but Memphis isn't going to shy away. They just signed Tyreke Evans who is in a similar mold to Mayo and Rose. At one point, Evans said that UNC was his dream school and wanted to play there. And he certainly has the talent to play for the Heels but Roy stayed away due to similar fears.

So, while I think that the one year minimum is probably bad for a lot of schools, but I think they schools should learn to adjust to it in recruiting because it isn't going anywhere.

Some very distressing news from the LPGA. Annika Sorenstam announced she will retire at the end of the year. What man-ish lesbian shall I root for now?

A grand jury just re-indicted Barry Bonds to now include 14 counts of perjury. He and Michael Vick are going to be in a tight race to win the most athletic superlative at the Federal Prison Prom.

American Gladiators returned to the air Monday night. And it was AMAZING. Needless to say, Season 2 has all the makings of a classic. Even the referee was fired up. He threw in a couple leg kicks and some serious jazz hands. Of course, with his extensive acting background, his showmanship should come as no surprise.

Needless to say, the falls were the best. One woman nearly had the corner of a wall inserted into her woman region (and not on purpose). It was serious. And I refuse to make jokes about the paralympic athlete who competed for the men. I mean, it's impressive that he's as capable as he is with one leg, but he really shouldn't be on this show. It's awkward for everyone. Of course, not as awkward as the two women taking 10 minutes to complete the eliminator.

The NBA playoffs march on, endlessly into the night. The Pistons advanced tonight to the Eastern Conference finals, which I think is like the 6th or 7th straight year they've advanced that far. That's pretty impressive. And considering the way the Celtics are playing, it looks like the Pistons might be the favorites in the East, especially if Billups can come back for the conference finals. Given that the Celtics and the Cavs will have at least two more games, he should have plenty of time to rest.

All the other series have moved to 2-2, despite everyone saying the Cavs, Spurs and Jazz were done after the first two games. The Spurs and Hornets are currently playing their Game 5. For as good as Chris Paul has been, Tony Parker's been pretty damn good too. The next three games might be where we see how important postseason experience really is. Or, Chris Paul will just go off and make it all seem too easy.

Sergio Garcia won the Players Championship despite being the worst putter of anyone who made the weekend. If he could learn to putt, he'd probably move into a spot to challenge Tiger. Of course, that's a rather large if. Garcia drove the ball better than anyone and hit more greens in regulation than anyone all week. He's still a whiny little pansy, but at least he's finally won something of note. Aside from that ever coveted Michelob Ultra sponsorship.

Well, its about time for me to hit the old dusty trail. Time to be getting a move on. Again, this is probably about all you're getting out of me this week - try to be strong, the kids need you - but if something of particular interest pops up, I'll be sure make a comment or two. In the meantime, I'll be camping out to get a ticket to the Sex and the City movie.

As you wish

I promised I'd be back tonight, so here I am. Since I couldn't really think of anything to go on a rant without a conclusion tonight, I figured I'd just talk about the progress in the NBA playoffs. Sure, many of you don't actually like the NBA, but it is sports so I'm obligated.

Eastern Conference

Celtics vs. Cavs - Game 1 is going on as we speak. I'm guessing the Celtics won't resort to the Wizards tactic of trying to beat the crap out of Lebron since well, the Celtics are actually good. Of course, they didn't really show it by having to go to a Game 7 in order to beat the lowly Hawks. I think the Hawks youth and athleticism as a team gave the Celtics fits, but Cleveland doesn't have that same mix. They have one young, ridiculously athletic guy and then a bunch of guys who kind of suck.

Detroit vs. Orlando - Since Detroit is already up 2-0, I don't really think its fair to make any sort of prediction. Detroit had a tougher than expected time with Philly, but now is the time that we separate the wheat from the chaff. Frankly, I'm not a farmer, so I don't really know what that means, but Detroit and Boston are going to play in the Eastern Finals and it should be a great series.

Western Conference

Lakers vs. Jazz - Kobe was named the MVP today, which surprisingly (at least to me) was his first MVP award. But, I suppose this is the first time the Lakers have actually been good with Kobe playing without Shaq, so it makes sense. Of course, I would have given it to Garnett since the Celtics won 42 more games this year than last year. I also didn't watch more than about 10 minutes of regular season NBA games, so I have no credibility in this argument whatsoever. Regardless, I think the Lakers will cruise to a relatively easy win in this series. Jeff Hornacek is not walking through that door for the Jazz.

Hornets vs. Spurs - The Hornets have taken a 2-0 lead in this series which is a bit of a surprise. Of course, they won those two games in New Orleans, so I'd refrain from making any bold claims on this series until the play a game in San Antonio. If any team in the playoffs will not be phased by a 2-0 deficit, its the Spurs. I expect them to come back strong in Game 3 and get a win. This series appears to have the makings of a great 7-game series. And while I still think the Spurs will win this, Chris Paul is absolutely fantastic. His battle with Parker will be great to watch all series.

And now that my pick to win the West has already been eliminated, I'm going to repick. The sensible pick is the Spurs. Put a gun to my head, and aside from peeing my pants, I'll pick the Spurs to win the West and another ring. But I'll probably be rooting for the Hornets to surprise everyone and make the finals. I really haven't seen enough puff pieces about sports rebuilding New Orleans after Katrina, so if they make the finals, we'll get a fresh batch of those. And that sounds like a little piece of heaven, if you ask me.

All right, I'm out of here. It's way past my bed time. You should just be impressed that I've written on two consecutive nights. I'm pretty wonderful, I know.

Lo Siento

Friends, Amigos, Hangoverians.

I come here to apologize. I've been remarkably negligent in updating the site recently, and for that I truly, deeply apologize. I could make excuses (personal obligations, nice weather, nothing all that interesting in sports, mourning over Liverpool's loss to Chelsea in the Champions League, allergies, a yachting accident, I was shot by Marvin Harrison), but I won't. Winners don't make excuses.

I will say that I'll try to be better. In the upcoming summer months, I can't promise to post every night, or even most nights. I will try to post when I feel something of note is happening, if there is an event that requires a live-bllllaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhg, if I'm bored or if John Daly plays an actual competitive round of golf without his shirt on.

I worry that my extended break from posting has cost me any readers. I mean, at this point, if either of you stop reading, I'll be an endangered blog. If a guy writes a joke on the internet and no one reads it, is it still funny?

I'm not going to post too much here tonight, because, well, I'm still exhausted from the weekend. But, I did want to come back and make sure that the old beauty was still working and I hadn't been kicked off the internet due to inactivity.

I will weigh in briefly, and a week late, on one topic. Last week, Will Leitch, the editor of Deadspin, went on Costas Now to participate in a round table discussion about the impact and role of blogs on sports media. What was meant to be meaningful, intelligent discourse (after all, Braylon Edwards was involved) turned into a school yard bully session by mainstream journalist and author Buzz Bissinger. (Bissinger is most well-known for the book Friday Night Lights) Well, Buzz didn't appear to want to have a meaningful discussion, he just wanted to tell Leitch that he was "full of shit" and show everyone that he forgot to take his medication that morning.

I like Deadspin. Leitch is a clever writer who is able to provide a unique perspective on what goes on in sports because of the unfiltered nature of running a blog. He does not write everything that is on the site, but as editor, is responsible for everything that is posted on there. I personally think some of the things other contributors post vary from thoughtful to childish. Some of the contributors seem to think that cuss words replace well thought out humor, kind of like I did in 8th grade. But, even these people aren't doing any sort of disservice to sports or how sports are covered. They make it perfectly clear that they provide sports news and insight "without favor, access or discretion." Ok, the favor part might be false since it's abundantly clear Leitch is an unabashed University of Illinois and St. Louis Cardinals fan. But, that's ok. And they end up getting more access than they think because of the popularity of the site. But, discretion. They definitely don't show much discretion. But they don't have to, and that's why people enjoy it.

Leitch, in his role as editor, has almost become the face of the "blogosphere," which is word that kind of makes me want to shoot something with my rare Belgian hand gun (I mean, seriously, Marvin Harrison? Shooting people? What the hell is going on?). The rise in popularity of Deadspin, as well as a couple book releases and being part of the Gawker Media network, has perched Leitch atop the pile of bloggers worldwide and made him a focal point for the members of the media who cringe at the mere notion of the word blog.

This is unfortunate on a couple levels. One, the fact that many prominent sports journalists have come out publicly with their disdain for blogs (bissinger, costas, wilbon among others) is disappointing since it shows their fear that they may be overtaken. I love a well-crafted piece of journalism as much as anyone - after all I spent four years in college learning how to create well-crafted pieces of journalism. But, I also enjoy making fun of the people who would write poems on a message board to Barbaro, who is in fact a horse and cannot read a computer, much less log on to a website. I mean, have tried to type with hooves before? You'd have to have the worlds largest keyboard to pull that off. Sorry, I digress. Often.

The other reason this is unfortunate is that Leitch doesn't deserve to criticized as the leader of the blog people. He can be criticized as the leader of Deadspin, but just because you may not like the fact he posts pictures of drunk athletes groping underage women, doesn't mean you should dislike all blogs. Leitch is not the voice of all things blog. He certainly doesn't represent my voice. I certainly think there is nothing wrong with blogs, but I also think much of what is posted on Deadspin is a little much. Frankly, I could care less who Matt Leinart gets into a hot tub with, but I do enjoy Leitch's perspective on the NFL draft.

The internet, more than anything, is a place to share ideas. There are a lot of people who can get away with saying ridiculous things because they don't really have to be identified. You can be anonymous and that's great. Unfortunately, that leads to some completely boneheaded ideas (I'm sure plenty of them have come from this space) as well as some truly provactive and thoughtful ideas. Here's the catch - the same thing happens in newspapers all over America. Some great writers put out some awful, ridiculous ideas and then the next day write a brilliant column.

So, while I have no problem with blogs, I also think that there are some terrible ones out there that will do anything just to get people to look at their site. I often joke on here about someone reading this and then calling Sports Illustrated to get me to write for them. I realize that's not going to happen. Frankly, I'm not sure I'd want SI to read this if I had a job interview with them. But, everyone thinks they can be the next Bill Simmons and turn their website into a job working at ESPN. Well, sorry folks, it ain't gonna happen. I realize this, and therefore, don't take myself all that seriously. Of course, I say that as I'm writing some opinionated, soap-box preachery blog post, so maybe I'm the hypocrite. Who knows.

All I do know is that this site is nothing more than one sports fan's occasional ramblings about his ideas on sports. And of course a place to make jokes about the WNBA.

Naturally, this wen't much longer than originally planned and probably made no sense. It's an internet tiger, full of sound and fury, meaning nothing. But, that's certainly nothing new around these parts. I'll try to come back tomorrow night and actually write about sports. And not just Marvin Harrison shooting people. I mean, really? Marvin Harrison? The guy who will sacrifice a few extra yards just to make sure he doesn't get his jersey dirty unloaded a pistol on someone? And he owns a car wash? I'm so confused.

Oh, and happy Cinco de Mayo!

Wednesday Notebook

There really isn't much going on, so I'm just going to keep the computer up while I'm watching TV tonight and see what happens. This is either going to be sheer brilliance or an exercise in boredom. I know which side I'm laying my bets on.

Liverpool had a heartbreaking tie Tuesday against Chelsea. The Reds controlled the game from start to finish and missed some chances they'd normally convert. Dirk Kuyt got the Reds on the scoreboard in the 43rd minute. Liverpool held that lead until the fifth minute of extra time, when John Arne Riise dove to head a Chelsea cross out of the area. Unfortunately, instead of heading it out of the area, he drilled into the upper corner of his own goal.

Now, the Reds must go into Stamford Bridge and get a win in order to advance. Unless of course, they can manage a 1-1 draw, at which point there will be a one-game playoff, I believe. Of course, Liverpool hasn't had much success at Chelsea the last few years. And by much, I mean any.

So, in theory, Chelsea could advance without having ever scored an actual goal of their own (a 0-0 tie puts Chelsea through on away goals). And that's the beauty and the agony of the beautiful game. It can be completely infuriating. But, a Liverpool win would provide the Scousers and the Chavs in Liverpool a night of rioting. Of course, the chavs probably do that on an average Monday regardless.

I've never seen the show The Closer on TNT, but you can be sure after they've inundated us with ads of the ugly woman who calls herself "TNT's own closer," that I will continue to not watch.

I'll be honest, I'm more interested in the Family Guy rerun on TBS right now than the Celtics-Hawks game.

The NFL Draft is coming up and everyone is giddy like a school girl. Well, except me. I could really care less about the draft. I won't watch a minute of it. I will be on the golf course. I will go back and check to see who the Skins drafted - or who they traded away all their picks for.

Speaking of that, the Skins offered this year's first round pick and a conditional third round pick for next year for Chad Johnson. The third round pick for next year could move up to a 1st round if certain performance incentives are reached. So, essentially, the Skins are hopeful that they'd give up two first round picks for Johnson.

I've emailed with some fellow Skins fans over the past couple days about this and there are several things that baffle me about this proposed deal.

Randy Moss was acquired for a 4th-round draft pick last year. A 4th! Granted, Moss' performance was historic and if Johnson replicated that, I'd give away three first round picks and the Jefferson Memorial. Of course, the chances of Johnson doing that in the Skins system with the Skins talent around him is about as likely as the head coach of the Redskins not knowing the teams colors. Oh wait.

You could also argue that Moss had less value at this point last year than Johnson does now. This is probably true, but they aren't that much different. Moss was 30 then, Johnson is 30 now. Each made it abundantly clear that they didn't want to play for their current team. The only real difference was their performance with their teams. Johnson at least tried - and had a lot more talent around him - while Moss clearly sandbagged with the Raiders. So clearly, Snyder and the Skins went over the top, essentially giving the Bengals and offer they couldn't refuse.

And that's the best part - the Bengals turned it down!! I'm not sure what it's really like to be a fan of the Bengals, but it can't be fun. I mean, first of all, you sucked forever. Then, you finally got good, but ended up doing it with a team full of criminals (good news - Odell Thurman is back from his year suspension for being a thug). Then, their best team in years is undermined by a cheap shot on Palmer's knee on the first pass of a playoff game. Since then, they've woefully underachieved and now one of there three best players wants out and appears set on becoming a complete nuisance until he gets traded.

I'm not sure why the Bengals are refusing to trade him, but they are acting just as immature as Johnson. It's going to be very interesting to see how this plays out, but the Bengals appear to be calling his bluff on his threat not to play next year. The problem for the Bengals is that they had a chance to get rid of a guy that doesn't want to be there, have two first round picks this year, and possibly two next year. Whoever is running that organization is an idiot.

The Celtics are beating the crap out of the Hawks. The Pistons are beating the crap out of the Sixers. Got to love the Eastern Conference playoffs.

Ok, I'm bored. The good news is that my bet as to which direction this post would take was a winner, so everyone wins. Well, I guess just I win. The rest of you are forced to read this nonsense.

Oh, and as far as I know, still no decision from Tyler, Ty and Wayne out of Chapel Hill. I'm heading over the Saturday to give one last sales pitch to stay. Wish me luck.

Weekend Recap

Well, it's Monday night, so I figure I should talk about what happened over the weekend. There probably won't be much of substance, but there were some notable happenings that I figure I should probably write about them. I mean, why not, right?

Tomorrow (Tuesday), the Champions League semifinals kick-off with Liverpool hosting Chelsea at Anfield. Once again, English football fans can claim that they've got the best football in Europe as 75% of the semifinals is comprised of English teams (Man U plays Barcelona in the other semi). The Reds need a strong showing tomorrow as the host team. They aren't going to want to have to go into Stamford Bridge and need a win to advance next week. So, a nice 2-nil decision would be lovely. Go on Gerard.

There was a historic Indy Car race over the weekend and since I'm pretty sure I've never written about Indy Car racing, this is actually a historic blog post. Danica Patrick went from novelty act to an actual legitimate driver by finally winning a race. Of course, the race was in Japan, so I'm not it really counts, what with the International Date line and everything. But, congratulations to Patrick. Maybe now she can focus on her true calling of doing the laundry, cooking and giving birth. And yes, ladies, I'm joking. Kind of.

The NBA playoffs are underwaywhich means that they'll probably be over around Labor Day, which is nice. I tried to watch some of the games and at the very least have an idea of what is going on in each series. So, here's my initial reaction after the first game of each series:

Detroit vs. Philly - Detroit's still going to win in 5 after the wake up call in Game 1.
Boston vs. ATL - No chance for the Hawks. To win a game
Toronto vs. Orlando - This was supposed to be a close series but Andrea has no chance of stopping Dwight Howard.
Cleveland vs. Washington - This series is getting kind of testy and will proably end up with someone getting into a fight. If I'm Brendan Haywood, I think I'd pick a fight with Anderson Varejao rather than Lebron James. Just a thought.

Lakers vs. Nuggets - The Nuggets don't even want to attempt to try to play tough enough defense to stop Kobe, much less win this series. But, at least George Karl was having a mosh pit in the locker room before the game.
Hornets vs. Mavs - I told you so.
Suns vs. Spurs - This is shaping up to be even better than everyone expected it to be, which is remarkable. These games are much watch TV now. Game 2 will probably be in July just to maximize TV coverage.
Jazz vs. Rockets - The Jazz could easily sweep this series. Houston appears to be running on fumes.

In golf, Boo Weekley took the Plaid Jacket at Harbour Town, winning his second consecutive Heritage Classic in Hilton Head. And more importantly, it means Boo will be back at the Masters next year with such wisdom as "what holes are Amen Corner?"

The hockey playoffs are still ongoing, but I've got no clue as to what's happening. I did see the Bill Simmons has jumped back on the Boston Bruins bandwagon, so they're sure to be eliminated shortly. I could care less about hockey, but if I know a Game 7 is going on, I'll check in on it to see if its going to go to overtime because there's nothing quite as intense as overtime in a Game 7 in the NHL.

There is still no word out of Chapel Hill as to whether or not Tyler, Tywon or Wayne will be coming back. The deadline is Sunday, so we'll hear something this week. At this point, I have no real idea what will happen. I did see something where Chad Ford of ESPN got a hold of the information that the NBA Advisory Committee disseminated about potential draft picks. In that, it didn't appear that the NBA thinks any of the three has a chance to be in the lottery and they seem to think Lawson and Ellington would possibly fall into the second round. So, if that's accurate, I think they'll come back. But we'll see.

Ok, the sports world is almost as boring as this post, so I'm going to stop. Baseball is still being played, but its still April so it doesnt really matter. Ok, I'm out of here. Haywood just got ejected for the Wizards after essentially trying to pick another fight with Lebron. As I said, Varejao, not James. They don't even look alike. Come on Brendan. You're (maybe) better than that...